A Tale of Two Dads

I've been one of the lucky ones. I had two fathers. One gave me life and the other gave me a home. The first wasn't ready for a child and the second CHOSE me. (He actually chose my mom, but we were a package deal and at least I wasn't a deal-breaker.) The home he made for us was a good one. We were well-provided for and I got two sisters out of it. I also got a really warped sense of humor. This year, in August,  my biological father passed away unexpectedly but peacefully in his sleep. He set a few things in order for my benefit and I will be forever grateful. He and I hadn't had much of a relationship but we talked occasionally and I was glad to have him in my life.

In November, my dad went to the hospital with shortness of breath and was diagnosed with cirrhosis. He was 'asleep' from the high ammonia levels and encephalopathy that ensued and passed December 17.   This is the man who raised me. He treated me as he did his biological daughters and was both tough and loving. Its his sense of humor that I have and so much of who I am is because of him.

The next week and few months will be the toughest I’ve ever had. My mom is phenomenally strong and i can’t imagine her heartache. Her support system is strong too and I know she’ll be ok. She will because she has to be.  As I was in Virginia  going through my fathers house after his passing and as we make the final arrangements for my dad now, I am reminded just how precarious life truly is. They both let me know in very different ways what I meant to them and I make sure my children, family, and friends know that I love them every chance I get!!

I can't explain the feeling of losing both the same year. I'd like to hibernate for about six months. I spend a lot of time worrying about everyone else....my mom, my sisters, my children, my aunts and uncles from both families, etc. I want to be strong for all of them because that's what I do and who I am. (I get that from my mom) I will be eternally grateful to each of them for the things in my life that each have given to me. I was incredibly blessed and lucky to have two dads!!