For (my) Wyndy

Devastation.  Grief. Heartbreak. Emptiness.
Friends. Support. Love.
How do you cope with the loss of someone so dear? Someone so close to your heart? Someone who left too soon?
So many memories being floated on facebook. So many words of both loss and encouragement and the good things she embodied.

And the special few. The few who knew they were her people...as she referred to us. She was a secret-keeper to many and we were hers. She could light up a room or blend into the background, whichever her mood dictated. She had no idea the enormous impact she had on SO many!! I wish she'd known. I pray she can see now. I can't help but think how lucky we were to have had her in our lives! I am a better person because I knew her!

She had a heart of gold....with a healthy dose of snark woven in. She would text me about something she had seen and how it cracked her up and often it was followed by, "Yes, I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy". I always snickered at that. She was ALL girl...from her cooking abilities to her quilt-making to her nurturing and caring nature.

She was my Sugar (and her daddy's) and I was her HB (Honey Badger). My grief and heartbreak cannot touch that of her family's, I am certain. I wish them peace. I offer condolences but know that it can't come close to helping. I hope they lean on and draw on their faith to help them through this. I'm leaning on my friends and vice versa. Friends I haven't seen in 20+ years but whom I will be forever connected to through our love of her.

We all know that grief is different for everyone and I've heard the term "selfish grief" mentioned. My grief is very selfish! I'm grieving for the times I WON'T get to visit with her or text her or have anymore homemade pickles. I'm grieving because of MY loss, not hers. I know her daddy was waiting for her with open arms and she'll still get to be called 'Sugar'! I am thankful she called me a friend. And I am thankful for the friends I can share memories of her with.

As the reality sinks in, I'll still  think about the loss, the heartache, her family's pain....but I'm also beginning to feel the peace of HER. The love that she would so much want for us to feel FROM her, for her, and for each other.