Reflections

At the dawning of each new year since 1993, I find myself reflecting on that year and the circumstances leading up to it and the achievements since. I've written about it numerous times as I do now. I have so much to be grateful for and it all began somewhere around New Years Eve 1992. I was invited to a New Years Eve party that night and declined at the last minute as I wasn't feeling well and was just over 30 weeks pregnant. The first 3 months of 1993 are a blur. The facts (some are remembered, others have been told to me):

• As the morning of January 4th dawned, convinced I had the flu, I called in sick to work. (I worked for my Ob/Gyn, thank God, so he called to check on me after office hours and hearing I was still sick, sent me to the hospital to just make sure I wasn't dehydrated)
• Upon arriving at St Petersburg General Hospital, it was discovered that my blood pressure was 185/130, I had 4+ proteins in my urine and my reflexes were also 4+. After my doctor arrived, the decision was made to transport me to the hospital closest to the Children's Hospital and also with a level 4 labor and delivery unit as it was unclear at this point if I would need to be induced to stop the progression of what was determined to be severe pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome.
• After transport and unsuccessful attempts to get my blood pressure under control, decision was made to induce labor. The transport team visited us from All Children's and explained what to expect once the baby was born as the baby was measuring less than 3 lbs at this point. (In all honesty, I do not recall ever feeling fear or dread that night. I had the utmost confidence in the medical team and knew that there were no other options.) 
• At approximately 7 AM, January 5th, with no contractions in sight, decision was made for cesarean section. (I was told some time later that my kidneys at that point were producing what looked like ketchup.)
• At 7:46, my beautiful and very tiny baby girl entered this world and completely changed mine! They told us not to expect any sounds because she was so early but she let out 2 tiny cries. They told us to be thankful she was female because they are better fighters. We were grateful that being early was our only obstacle. She had no other health problems and proved to be an incredible fighter. 
• Parents of preemies can attest to how time seems to stand still when your baby is in the NICU. But when that day draws near and they start talking about releasing them, it seems to have flown by! Our Emily spent 7 weeks there. Getting the breathing thing down was the hardest part. Once she figured that out, the rest was a piece of cake. 
• February 21st, our little bundle of joy came home. By this time, my blood pressure had returned to normal and my kidneys were getting close. 

As her 19th birthday approaches and she is home from her first semester away at college, my reflections remain. Amazement and wonder abound for this incredible human being. I gush with pride at her accomplishments to this point and look forward with anticipation at the many wondrous things she has yet to do. 

How can it have been 19 years ago already? Having children  was the best decision I ever made. I am quite certain I was put on this Earth to be their mother! I am infinitely blessed to be a part of their lives! 

Happy New Year to all and happy 19th birthday to my beautiful, talented and incredibly intelligent daughter!