Dating 101

*Dating at 35 is NOT the same as dating at 21!
*Do NOT go on a blind date from the internet! If they don't have a picture, there is a reason!
*If you are naive enough to go on a blind date, do NOT let friends or co-workers see him until AFTER you have!
*The dating pool on the internet is not any worse than that in a bar or club...just different. (kinda)
*Small "nuances" that you notice right away will become HUGE pet-peeves a month or two in.
*If you want there to be a second date, don't sleep with him on the first one (at least thats what my friends tell me)!
*Encourage your sons to wear tighty-whities or boxer briefs....gravity DOES affect men too! (This came as quite the shocker to me)
*I have not found a correlation between hand or foot size and ......(you know)


Although I only have one real horror story of a misrepresentation by someone on the internet, I have heard many from men who were completely led astray by women they met.  I am amazed by this. I have heard people say that the internet is good for pretending to be someone (anyone) else. Why? I don't understand if the intent is to eventually meet. Because if he really likes who you are pretending to be, he is most likely NOT going to like the real you. If I start talking to someone on the internet, I prefer they know exactly who I am prior to meeting me. 

I have some great stories but not knowing who might read these, I am going to have to choose carefully which I can share.....

I have met many different types of men...and all age ranges.  And, since I am still single, I have obviously not met the RIGHT man! I do still believe in fate and destiny and IF I am destined to find a partner, I will. I believe that all things happen for a reason and all events in your life, whether good or bad, are part of your journey. And on that note, I do have to add that dating at 35 after being dumped by your husband of 13 years is a LOT different than dating at 41 after 6 years of being single. I didn't get picky until about 3 years post divorce.  My basic philosophy about dating hasn't changed however.....it only has to be "right" once.

I've always been a bit of a control freak...but now that I've had complete control over my life and my kids lives for 6 years...hmmmmm....I might be a bit of a challenge for that "right" guy. :-)  I have nuances of my own and I am fully aware of them.

My biggest challenge is opportunity. I don't have any current avenues of meeting new people. And before you start thinking of suggestions....many places aren't places a woman goes to alone. Many of my friends are either married or have completely different schedules or interests. The days I have without my kids vary and rotate. My work schedule is mon-fri 8-5 but my free nights can be mon/tues, weds/thurs, or sat/sun. I don't mind it but it doesn't lend to an easy dating schedule.

I have probably been extremely lucky when it comes to my dates. I have almost never told anyone when or where I was meeting new guys. I wouldn't recommend this to others. I met one guy that I had "talked" to a few times on the internet...perhaps thru a dating site but I don't recall exactly...and he knew more about me than I had told him. He googled my email address....got my last name, place of employment, networking organizations I belonged to, etc.  He also had (or so he thought) my address. Luckily, he got it from a roster of one of the networking organizations and it was several years old and had an old address. I did try to request the organizations not post such personal information on the web but was told that it wasn't that big a deal.  I told this guy that he had given me the creeps and he didn't pursue a second date but the opportunity was there for it to have turned into something scary. 

And then there was my brush with a law enforcement officer who used his position to find out everything he could about me and looked up all kinds of stuff about my ex and his family. It was weird, creepy and scary. I opened that door myself and had no one else to blame but the guy went too far. He DID take the hint when I stopped answering his calls and it ended there. (And I am grateful!)

And then there is the gay guy. He doesn't know he is gay but my friends and parents are convinced!! I'm pretty sure too. He was fun and very very nice....but, yeah, HAS to be gay!

I've even dated psychos who stole money from my wallet and then claimed to have hidden something in my house so I would let them come back to get it. He was quite the manipulator.

One of the nicest, most sincere, most gentle guys was an ex-con. (Don't tell my ex!)

You name it, I've dated it. Policemen, firemen, attorneys, realtors, hairdressers, truck drivers, property appraisers, teachers, business men, business owners, salesmen, etc etc etc. Again, many first dates....not so many second ones.

I am cracking myself up trying to think of what I can post...actually, what I CAN'T.  I am pretty sure that once I've posted this, I'll probably never get another date....unless he doesn't read this!